Being single at 30 seems to be a crime all of a sudden!
I have friends who make fun of me. I have friends who are
beginning to doubt my sexuality. Yes, you read it right! I have friends who
talk about my marriage. Who already want to plan my sangeet, mehendi, food and dresses!
They are just waiting for a prince charming to come my way rescue me of my
“troubles”. I have friends who talk about my attitude. In addition, I have
friends who are just silent and stand-by me. I hear whispers of my relatives
for finding a “suitable” boy for me. I get dating advice from people who do not
know me at all. As much as I appreciate your care, love, and you “looking out”
for me, I think I am fine. You do not have to press the panic button just
because I am single at 30!
Big deal.
Just because I do want to date no one right now does not
mean I am not open to dating. Just because I am not dating, a boy right now
does not mean I am a male basher or a lesbian! Just because I say I do not have
time for relations does not mean I never want to have one. All I mean is that,
I am at a stage in my life right now where my priorities are different. And for
that I have absolutely no regrets.
I never had a normal life like many of you people. I do not
have a normal functional household. I lost both my parents at the age of 26. The
one person I wanted to spend my life with walked out on me immediately after
that for his own reasons. I have no hard feelings anymore for that either. I did not even know how to write a check or to
balance a checkbook. But what kept me going is the fact that I had to learn to
survive. I learned. I “grew up”. I do not remember cribbing about my situation
at all with anyone. In fact as I was always taught to look at the positives in
adversity, I saw this as a challenge in learning. I never complained. Honestly,
one because I did not have the time to complain and secondly I was learning so
much that I did not want to complain. Like simple things, people’s attitude. A
common thing I noticed through this journey was, when someone’s children made
mistakes, I heard, “oh they are kids,
they are learning!” When I made a mistake, the same people responded, “she is
grown up, how can she do such a thing?” And by the way, just a gentle reminder,
your kids are probably 10 years elder to me.
I came from an environment where my job was to study and
then find a job. By the time I settled in a job, things took a drastic turn and
all of a sudden all responsibility was on me. I am not complaining mind you. I
loved taking charge. It gave me a new sense of freedom. It made me a strong independent
woman. Today, you put me in any situation, I will struggle but I will come out
of it with excellence. And I think I can brag about it, because I did it. I
think I have come a long way. I have responsibilities that I have to keep ahead
of my personal milestones. Very few people of my age see the things I have
seen. I like to use them to my advantage. I like to use them to make me a
stronger individual. I am very proud of this journey. I am very proud that I
handled the situations pretty well. I know I did not do it alone. There were a
few of you who supported me. I will not deny that. I am very proud of the fact
that I have a loving younger brother who supports my decisions. Who never gave
in to societal pressure of marrying off this “elder” sister. I am fortunate to
have my aunt, uncle and cousin who take care of my brother and me. Who are
everyday learning to deal with us we to deal with them.
If you taught me to be strong, and independent, then respect
the values and the choices I make with them. Who are you to dictate my life
turns? Where were you I was struggling in my life? Where were you when I cried
myself to sleep missing my parents? Where were you when I was having a hard
time dealing with teenager and his emotional difficulties? You left me then to
deal with it as it was a “learning process”.
Then answer this, who gave you the right today to judge me
and my decisions? My age? My ability to stand on my feet? Or my open mindedness
with which I came to you to ask my doubts while I was learning. Who are you to
press the panic button today as I turn 30? Where was your love, care and
concern when I needed you the most? If you did not stand by me then, I will not
listen to you now.
So all I want to say is buzz off…
Yes, I am 30. I am proud of being a single girl at 30. It
makes me a strong independent woman. I have my own way of life.
And if you can’t deal with it I can’t help you.
